You Can Be Neutral
Only If You Declare Your Neutrality

In most cases, counseling is something that happens only when necessary and is usually arranged by special appointment. People who require counseling for non-medical reasons are dealing with problems stemming from past experiences and those problems are effecting the quality of life in the present.

That’s the short explanation, what we’ve been led to think, but it raises an important question. How do people avoid problems in the first place?

The counseling process is complicated. In fact, it’s mysterious because humans are complex and experiences, both good and bad, add to that complexity. We’re not as normal as we like to think, or even worse, maybe we are.

The most popular version of counseling is after-the-fact crisis management. It’s the solution we turn to not because we have a problem but because the problem, undetected heretofore, has been around long enough for us to reach overload. It’s entrenched and won’t be easily dislodged. Counseling, where we hope to find the answer, is more like a slow and tedious untangling process than a quick fix. There’s no pill for this.

The process includes a bit of self-discovery, others discovery, and experience analysis. These three elements are the basic influences in every person’s life. They teach us how to think and act.

But what I just described is only one type of counseling. The people who provide it are professionals and it only takes place after the fact. It’s corrective, not prophylactic.

The Bigger Picture

But what about the rest of life? How do people learn to believe in themselves or not? Why do some people develop a fear of water? When do people become afraid of crowds? What influences these outcomes?

Nature plays a part but only a small part. The website, Very Well Mind, provides a short list of 98 phobias. It’s only a partial list but it’s long enough to show there aren’t enough natures to go around. The bigger causes must be found elsewhere.

Medical News Today says,

It is unusual for a phobia to start after the age of 30 years, and most begin during early childhood, the teenage years or early adulthood.

They can be caused by a stressful experience, a frightening event or a parent or household member with a phobia that a child can learn.

And there you have it. It’s more about timing than nature. All the input is external and happens in the most formative years. Nature is not the culprit. Phobias are nurtured.

Both good and bad qualities, strengths and weaknesses, are being shaped by people and experiences.

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Counseling Happens Everyday

Counseling happens 24/7 in everyday life. Living is counseling. If you’re alive, you’re counseling and being counseled.

There may very well be times when a special problem arises that requires professional attention, but at all other times, I am counseling others by the way I live. The way I manage money, time, relationships counsels others in how to manage these things too.

Everything I do, everything I say and every attitude I entertain sends a message to those around me. I am counseling everyone around me, and everyone around me is counseling me.

It isn’t intentional, but it is real.

The more influence one has, the more their counsel takes hold.

What About Moral Issues

We like to think we can live our own lives completely to ourselves and separate from everyone else without interfering, intruding or asserting influence. Not so! [Read more…] about Living Is Counseling