Family Archives - Page 11 of 12

Is Divorce Allowed In The Old Testament?

December 21, 2010 by EnnisP 2 Comments

Marriage Is The Issue
Not Divorce

Divorce is definitely allowed in the Old Testament, even for silly reasons.

Disclaimer: Divorce is not being encouraged here but the reality is, it does happen. Realism demands we allow for it and graciously work with those who experience it. A first step in accomplishing this is understanding what the Old Testament actually says on this topic.

If divorce was not allowed ever, under any circumstances, we would expect to find the Bible clearly stating this fact or at least indicating the rare conditions under which it is only occasionally allowed. What we find is quite different.

Casually Described

The Old Testament plainly says divorce is allowed and puts very few restraints on when and why this option may be exercised. In almost a casual manner, Deuteronomy 24:1 makes the following remarks…

If a man marries a woman and then it happens that he no longer likes her because he has found something wrong with her, he may give her divorce papers, put them in her hand, and send her off.

If there were any restrictions disallowing divorce they would surely have been mentioned here. Instead, we find nothing. Divorce is described as just a matter of procedure and the only condition – he no longer likes her because he has found something wrong with her – is extremely broad. It could mean anything from she’s a serial murderer to she’s overweight.

Marriage, Not Divorce, Regulated

The only regulation in the passage applies to marriage, not divorce. The passage goes on to say, if wife “A” is married and divorced by husband “A” and then is later married and divorced by husband “B” she is not allowed to remarry husband “A.” Frivolous marriage is being disallowed not “senseless” divorce.

It is important to note that Moses instituted only the “Bill of Divorcement” not divorce. Divorce was widely practiced before Moses and could be quite barbaric. Remember that Abraham tried to get rid of Sara twice, albeit in a way that looked out for her material well-being. In both cases, he tried to unload her on another man, not the street, and both men were well off, to say the least.

Women could be “thrown out” with no required procedure and no legal repercussions to the man. And since the culture – not God – allowed men to have multiple wives, he could marry a second woman while the first woman was still viewed as married. Not only would others not know the rejected woman was now available but she now had to fend for herself.

The divorce ruling was gender-driven. It brought a little more fairness to a seriously abusive cultural trend, particularly for the ladies. God was taking special measures in the early stages of social development to protect the fairer sex from the abuses of men.

Moses’ “Bill” offered official proof that the first marriage contract was aborted and she could now be married to another.

Both the “Bill” and the regulation disallowing the wife’s remarriage to husband “A” were designed to protect property rights and security issues, again for the wife. These laws had nothing to do with allowing or disallowing divorce or remarriage.

Divorce was a fact of life then and is still a fact of life today. Instead of hammering people who navigate this difficult experience with pontifications about the sanctity of marriage we need to graciously provide support.

That was Moses’ approach and he was led by God in the matter.

No Condemnation Attached

Also, if divorce was seriously damning, as some people suggest, we would certainly expect to find this clearly stated. Instead, there’s not even a hint of condemnation to be found in this passage or anywhere else. [Read more…] about Is Divorce Allowed In The Old Testament?

OT Law Allows Parents To Stone Children

October 27, 2010 by EnnisP 2 Comments

Did OT Law Really Allow Parents
The Option of Stoning Rebellious Children?

Yes, according to the following passage:

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, 19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20 and they shall say to the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard. 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear. Deuteronomy 21:18-21

But, as far as we know this law was never invoked in OT days and there is good reason to believe God never expected it to be. It was intended to make a point not prescribe a rule. It reads more like satire. No doubt Jonathan Swift got the idea for “A Modest Proposal” from this very text.

Then and now, parents were the primary influence in molding the character of a child’s life and, as the following text indicates God expects parents to use every waking moment to nurture good qualities in the lives of their offspring. [Read more…] about OT Law Allows Parents To Stone Children

Abraham Committed Adultery Got Divorced

December 26, 2009 by EnnisP 11 Comments

Marriage Connections
Are Both Legal
And Personal

Some people make the assumption that Abraham’s relationship with Hagar did not constitute adultery because the biblical text refers to her as his wife.

And the presentation of Hagar to Abraham even has an official tone, like a wedding ceremony:

“Sara…gave Hagar to her husband Abraham to be his wife.” Genesis 16:3

So, Sara’s suggesting the arrangement in the first place followed by her official presentation of Hagar makes it sound like a genuine marriage.

But was it really?

A superficial reading might imply this but a thorough consideration of the text suggests otherwise.

There are actually several things to consider: adultery, marriage and divorce.

Adultery

Some suggest that adulterous “do’s and don’ts” were neither defined nor explained to Abraham so we can’t accuse him of adultery. We can’t hold him responsible for information he didn’t have.

But nowhere in the Bible is a technical definition of adultery provided. We have the word and we know the definition but Abraham had the word, and the definition long before we did.

The first biblical mention of the word didn’t occur until the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20:14) but it surely was understood long before that. After this it is used no more than 37 times (KJV). Some versions have less.

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That means, of course, that our definition of adultery is insinuated from the text and the primary text is found in Genesis chapter two where the first wedding is recorded. [Read more…] about Abraham Committed Adultery Got Divorced

Anger And Murder In Modern Society – Matt. 5

November 27, 2009 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Anger was one topic Jesus mentioned in the Sermon on the Mount and the interesting thing is, He associated it with murder.

Before He made His famous remarks, a long history of anger-fueled violence had riddled the pages of holy writ going all the way back to the first family. It occurred often even in those early years and frequently resulted in the death of another person. It wasn’t peculiar to the so-called bad guys either. Some of the people who committed murder surprise us.

Cain, the first-born child to the first family murdered his first sibling, Abel, and it was motivated by anger.
Esau was so angry he wanted to kill his brother, Jacob. Fortunately the parents intervened and sent Jacob away. The resentment, however, never left. There was constant tension between the descendants of these two brothers which occasionally escalated to war.
Jacob’s sons, motivated by resentment, planned to kill their brother, Joseph but instead sold him as a slave.
Two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, in a state of rage, murdered all the men in an entire town because the son of the chief had raped their sister and they did this even though the perpetrator wanted to make things right.
Moses angrily defended his people by killing an Egyptian guard. The guard was abusing Israelite slaves and killing him was Moses’ idea of deliverance.
Later, Moses again became so enraged that he disobeyed a direct order from God, suffering the consequences personally this time. [Read more…] about Anger And Murder In Modern Society – Matt. 5

Abraham’s Adultery

September 22, 2009 by EnnisP

Our Most Frustrating Moments
Produce Our Greatest Vulnerabilities
And Our Deepest Insights

Did Abraham commit adultery?

Yes, sort of. He had conjugal relations with his wife’s handmaid, Hagar, who gave birth to his first child, Ishmael. It isn’t the worst case of adultery but adultery it was. Here are the facts:

Abraham, prompted by God, moved to Canaan from Haran when he was 75 years old. A part of the enticement to move was the promise that Abraham would become, not an average nation, but a great one, a tacit promise of children.

Abraham was 86 years old when Ishmael, his first child, was born. This was anything but usual. For the previous eight generations his predecessors began having children in their early 30’s. By normal standards, Abraham’s first child was fifty plus years late.

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That means Abraham’s paternal instincts were already frustrated when he left for Canaan and it was eleven years later before he had his first child, which, unfortunately, was not the child God promised. [Read more…] about Abraham’s Adultery