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The New Six Point Plan For Raising Children by John Rosemond

June 13, 2011 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

A good parent is at least a thoughtful parent.

Clearly Written, Argued Philosophically
And Substantiated By Science

The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children, is an updated and expanded version of John Rosemond’s classic text on raising children.

Although John is a qualified psychologist who specializes in working with parents, children and families, much of his insight comes from raising his own children, Eric and Amy. Though his ideas are not fashionable, they aren’t new and he argues his points powerfully and illustrates them generously with anecdotal material from his experiences as a parent and a psychologist. You won’t find a more thoughtful and clear presentation of practical ideas for raising children.

He introduces the book with strong arguments for changing the way we approach parenting and then suggests six basic ideas to relieve parenting pressure and help each of us be more effective:

  • His forward, Read This First, argues that “the ultimate purpose of parenting is to help children out of our lives.” That idea alone is worth its weight in gold but is usually hidden behind all sorts of other sentimental child raising ideas and rarely gets a mention.
  • The Parent-Centered Family in which he argues that constantly lavishing attention on our children is like giving them far too much food.
  • The Voice of Authority suggests that children can and should obey their parents and he makes it clear that “asserting authority” does not qualify as “abuse.”
  • The Roots of Responsibility suggests that children only learn from their failures – which are inevitable – if parents don’t protect them from the consequences.
  • The Fruits of Frustration makes it clear that it is OK to say “no” to our children instead of meeting their every whim. Frustration is a normal part of every life and leads to desirable outcomes when managed well.
  • Toys and Play points out that an overabundance of toys often leads to “boredom” in our young. “Play” should be the outcome of imagination. It comes from the inside and is not induced by external input.
  • Television and Children argues that the amount of time a child watches TV – excessive according to surveys – is just as damaging as the themes we try to avoid.

Every chapter ends with a series of questions related to the chapter theme and answered by John. The book also has a closing and ends with Rosemond’s Bill of Rights for Children.

The book is clearly written, well argued philosophically, substantiated by science and includes plain old practical everyday wisdom which many psychologists have buried beneath new age ideas and clouded with semantics.

If you care about your kids, and what parent doesn’t, read this book. You might not agree with everything John says but you will have to work hard to prove him wrong. The book will challenge your perspective even if it doesn’t change it.

As always, you can get it inexpensively through Amazon.

THINK!AboutIt

Filed Under: Christian Living, Family, Parenting Tagged With: attention, authority, bill of rights for children, character, Child raising, children, family, frustration, John Rosemond, molding kids, parenting, parents, responsibility

Divorce Help For Women

May 20, 2011 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Generally, people have no idea what a divorce involves.

They focus mostly on the “right and wrong” of getting a divorce and a large number opt to oppose the idea for any reason. It is generally not well accepted, especially in religious circles, so the practicalities of getting a divorce are usually ignored.

While some divorces can be avoided and we applaud couples who manage to stay together, not every marriage can be saved. And, if that is true then we should put as much time into helping people get through a divorce effectively as we do helping them to avoid it. Little, however, is offered in that regard.

Often friends, associates and even family continue to express regret over the breakup, after the fact, which only feeds the pain and does little to help the struggling party get on with life.

It is no wonder that divorce is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can go through. Not only are they dissolving one of the closest relationships in life, they are left hanging with very few understanding friends who are willing or able to meet their emotional needs or provide guidance. That is tantamount to losing support from every direction.

But that is where Tracy Scorzafava’s book comes in handy.

In DIVORCE 101: A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO DIVORCE Tracy provides emotional insight and practical support for those navigating a divorce and she is writing from experience. She’s been there and in her experience: [Read more…] about Divorce Help For Women

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Divorce, Family Tagged With: alimony, child custody, child support, divorce, divorce insight, divorce law, divorce preparation, divorce tricks, property division, Tracy Achen, Tracy Scorzafava, types of divorce, women's divorce

Judgments On Divorce – 1 Corinthians 7

May 3, 2011 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

In Defense Of Divorce: Why A Marriage Should Never Be Saved At The Expense Of A Life

A Proper Reading
Of The Bible
Encourages Good Sense

The Bible is often treated like a list of inflexible laws, meaning every statement is applied as if it is a hard fast rule, no variation allowed.

Those who take this approach use the remarks of Jesus to reinforce the idea:

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. 18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. 19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:17-19

A quick reading might give the impression that Jesus endorses the “rule book” approach but a few verses later He said things that would challenge this idea. He actually moved a few legal goal posts.

  • Not murdering someone is a good rule to follow but avoiding getting angry with them is even better, 5:21-22.
  • Not sleeping with a woman, other than your wife, is a good rule to follow but not entertaining the idea is even better, 5:27-28.
  • Not committing the sins to which you are vulnerable is noteworthy but avoiding the situations which tempt you to commit those sins is even better, 5:29-30.
  • Taking no more than an “eye’s” worth of penalty for an “eye’s” worth of offense is a good rule to follow but taking less is even better, 5:38-39.
  • Not taking revenge on your enemies is a good rule to follow but actively loving them is even better, 5:43-44.

Obviously, Jesus saw the law as restrictive not prescriptive. It was designed to limit the expression of our human tendencies and prevent us from going too far in our zeal for justice. And His remarks change our perspective entirely.

Not only should our lust for revenge be limited by the law it should be replaced by love and taking that approach helps us focus on being more like God. Jesus clearly made that point.

That you may be the children of your Father which is in heaven, 5:45.

Loving your enemies instead of hating them is the God-like thing to do and one purpose of the law was to help us learn this approach. It was designed primarily to inhibit our natural responses to sinful tendencies and offenses. It provides boundaries not step by step instructions. The law is a guidebook not a rule book.* [Read more…] about Judgments On Divorce – 1 Corinthians 7

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, Old Testament Tagged With: 1 Corinthians 7, divorce, divorce in the Bible, good judgment, judgment, law is not prescriptive, law is retrictive, Paul's judgmemnt, rules for marriage, sermon on the mount

William And Kate: Wedding And PR All In One

May 2, 2011 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

On 29 April 2011 William and Kate tied the knot and it was quite a do. According to Bloomberg.com an estimated 1 million people lined the streets locally and another 2 billion watched from various parts of the world. In case you’re not counting that is a third of the world’s population and the numbers are a testament to British Royal appeal not technology.

No wedding ceremony has ever been witnessed by so many. Most watched with joy and wonderment. Romantics were teary eyed and traditionalists were comforted. A few were negative but that is always to be expected where British Royalty is concerned.

And kudos to the organizers. Security was tight, events were well ordered, the ceremony message was clear and as far as you could tell everyone was happy. It was a demonstration of great organization between many government departments.

In spite of the tension that normally accompanies events of this magnitude, William and Kate smiled at one another and made what must have been endearing remarks occasionally. Unlike other Royal weddings you got the sense they actually love one another. The world is not used to seeing such sentimental displays at important state events.

And, even though they made an effort to introduce a human element to the occasion, inviting friends from their past rather than just heads of state, it was still politics and business as usual. There was a wedding buried below all the hoopla somewhere and the ceremony gave us a glimpse but I’m not sure the rhetoric will do much good. [Read more…] about William And Kate: Wedding And PR All In One

Filed Under: Family, Political Issues Tagged With: British economy, British esteem, chivalry, marriage, politics as usual, Royal wedding, royal weddings, sentimental ideas, William and Kate

Moms Always Have A Positive Impact

April 29, 2011 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

One Mother Raised The First Sinful Child
The Other Raised The First Sinless Child

There are many great women in the Bible but very few are recognized predominantly for their mothering skills. There is, however, reason to believe all of them had a positive impact as mothers.

We must remember that mothering was originally designed for perfect mothers, partnered by perfect husband/fathers, dealing with perfect children. That possibility was destroyed before the first child was born so mothering in this life is always done under duress. It’s never going to be perfect. The intention of this post is to see the positives in spite of the negatives.

And when we look close, what we find is that most mothers in the Bible had a positive effect even when hampered by, not one, but at least three sin natures – mom, dad and child – in addition to difficult circumstances.

The mothering of some biblical figures isn’t highly visible because there just isn’t enough room in one book to include every mothering detail so we have to read between the lines to gain some insights. What we do know is that every mother faced the obstacles mentioned above.

Following is a list of some of the better known ladies, a description of what made them great and few of their mothering positives. [Read more…] about Moms Always Have A Positive Impact

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: Eve, gifts for mom, Hannah, Jochebed, marriage conflict, Marry, mom, Mother, Mother's Day, mothering, Naomi, raising children, Ruth, Sara, sinful child, single parents, sinless child, The first birth, the first virgin birth

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