Human Relations Archives - NowTHINK!AboutIt

Faith Basics Should Be The Same For Everyone

October 12, 2025 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Differences Are Inevitable
Conflict Is Not

First a brief definition.

Faith refers to anything you believe which cannot be irrevocably proven or widely accepted. I believe in God. I can’t prove Him.

Unfortunately, that is the nature of faith. We call it faith because it cannot be tested in a lab. The only evidence we have is circumstantial.

And it isn’t the same for everyone. There are so many different varieties of faith it’s easy to see that faith tends to morph.

Therefore, when it comes to relationships based on faith, we must be careful. Before joining hands with anyone just because they have faith, we must determine exactly what they mean by the term.

Faith isn’t equal. Faith ideas can be polar opposites.

Even when they are close, they can be very different. One person believes Jesus is all one needs to get saved. Another adds baptism to the formula. Both believe in Jesus but the two ideas can’t be reconciled.

The uncomfortable truth is faith (the idea, the concept, the stance) tends to migrate depending on whose adopting it, how they promote it and on what they base their faith conclusions.

And since we can’t prove what we believe, it is entirely possible to become emotionally reactive when others respond derisively to the ideas we hold most strongly.

Buddhism, for example, is based on the teachings of Buddha. He excites attention because many of his teachings are at least thought provoking if not obvious. Some are easily accepted by all.

One of his popular statements illustrates the point:

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present.

Easy to grasp and accept.

I’m not sure Buddha was the first to advocate for such an idea. In fact, Paul said something similar:

Behold, now is the accepted time, today is the day of salvation. (2 Corinthians 6:2)

Paul’s focus was salvation, not life in general, but the application was the same. If it didn’t happen in the past, don’t focus on the future, it can happen right now in the present.

Many have said something similar but Buddhism probably popularized it and the only ones to disagree are the disagreeable.

Ideas of this nature are sensible. They compel us to think and that’s a good thing.

One important observation is the fact that every religion promotes some ideas that are easy to see and accept. They all have an element of faith (that which can’t be seen) and sense (that which can be easily recognized).

But the balance between faith and sense is not fixed and because of that problems can surface. [Read more…] about Faith Basics Should Be The Same For Everyone

The Long Journey From Racism To Equality

August 3, 2020 by EnnisP 2 Comments

The End of Slavery Was Not The End of Slavery

I was born in the deep south.

The city was Jacksonville, Fl.

The year was 1949.

It was a time and place where racism thrived.

What I didn’t know until recently is just how bad Florida’s racism was. In my recollection, states like Alabama and Mississippi got most of the bad press so I thought of them as the real offenders but Florida, it seems, was just as bad if not worse.

Florida has a checkered past. It is recognized as the first location where free people of color first arrived in the early 1500’s and is also home to the first settlement of runaway slaves, Fort Mose. The Fort is situated two miles north of St. Augustine and was established under Spanish authority in 1738. It was a safe place for slaves to settle after escaping from plantations in the north. According to history, these liberated slaves bravely fought alongside the Spanish against English invasion.

Contrasting that, however, is the fact that Florida is the place where slavery first began in the Continental US (1526) and where it was practiced for decades even after the Civil War. Though history offers a flicker of decency in the early years, slavery and racism dominate the record.

I was surprised to learn that the U.S. Sugar Corporation was federally indicted for enslaving black sugarcane workers through debt peonage on Florida plantations as late as 1942. I wasn’t taught that bit of history in school but you can read about it here. The indictment was ultimately quashed on procedural grounds but it and the reasons for it are on the record.

The horrors of that historical fact should be unacceptable to any decent, fair-minded, rational person. Seventy-seven years is a long time to NOT figure it out, but that’s how long sugar cane farmers flouted the 13th Amendment of the Constitution with their slavery workarounds.

It begs the question. Do slavery loopholes still happen today? If businesses, aided by sentimentally aligned policymakers, could get around the law for seventy-seven years, is it improbable to think the same mindset could be driving segments of the business community today?

Innocence By Ignorance

As a youngster growing up in Jacksonville, I didn’t know enough to ask these questions. I was innocent but only because I was ignorant and I was also immersed. I was surrounded by racism. Things were better in Jacksonville than on the plantation but not by much. You didn’t need to look hard to find the evidence of Jacksonville’s racism everywhere: public transportation, public facilities, education, politics and even the workplace.

Racism was the norm. It was accepted. It was entrenched. [Read more…] about The Long Journey From Racism To Equality

Marriage And Change Are Synonymous

December 22, 2017 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Refusing To Change
Stunts One’s Growth

I’m married. I like being married! It’s great and I wouldn’t change a thing.

My wife is a beautiful person, an incredible woman, a wonderful partner, and a great friend – as in best. I am grateful every day that she accepted my proposal and loves me still.

I actually joke that God partially blinded her for life on the day I proposed.

But I think we are lucky. Not every marriage is happy. Marital experience can range anywhere from bliss to dysphoria. In extreme cases it’s dangerous.

That’s a strange thing to say. You don’t associate danger with something God intended to make us secure but we all know it’s true. Something as potentially wholesome as marriage can become a war zone.

The real question has to do with change, though. People change people. It’s a fact. There’s is no such thing as a neutral relationship. Every person within emotional/intellectual/cultural range exerts influence.

And that applies to all people, not just family: neighbors, schoolmates, friends (close and not so close), teachers, employers, fellow employees, colleagues and more.

Accents illustrate the point. Everyone has an accent but no one has any recollection of trying to form one. It just happens. We become like the people around us.

We don’t even know where accents come from but accents are evidence that each one of us is influenced by the people around us whether we want that or not. This truth has both positive and negative effects.

One bully can bruise your psyche for life, the negative. One good teacher can unleash your possibilities, the positive.

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But what about marriage? Is any relationship closer? Should we be surprised that marriage changes us in the deepest and most profound ways? Hopefully in good ways but, good or bad, marriage changes you. You must expect it and be open for it to happen. It works best when we approach it with the right attitude. [Read more…] about Marriage And Change Are Synonymous

What I’m Thankful For

November 23, 2017 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Who Believes In You

Today is Thanksgiving and, obviously, it is the day to be thankful. But rather than be thankful generally speaking, I decided to mention specifics so this is a list of things for which I’m thankful. The list isn’t exhaustive. I only mention a few things but there’s one item, in particular, I consider most important. Here goes:

I’m thankful my blessings far outweigh my problems

I can easily count my problems. My blessings, however, are numberless.

I’m thankful there is a day to focus on the blessings instead of the problems

Most days, problems loom. We can feel surrounded. It’s only natural. Thanksgiving changes the focus. Helps us put things into perspective.

Remember, the more you talk about or think about or focus on a problem, the bigger it gets especially if you don’t solve it. That may be why the Bible tells us to think on virtuous and praiseworthy things rather than the other stuff.

I’m thankful there is a day that reminds us to refocus.

I’m thankful that some people love to cook

T-day is loaded with great food: turkey, ham, beans, sweet potato souffle, pecan pie and more but if it was up to me, the entire meal would be store bought. Other than eggs or oatmeal, I don’t cook. Never had the desire and, honestly, I wouldn’t be upset if the people who do the cooking took the day off.

But, fortunately, some people actually enjoy cooking. It relaxes them. It’s a gift and I’m thankful for every mouth full.

I’m thankful for family

This is the important one.

Everyone assumes they know what family is, but I’m not so sure. The word “Family” evokes both good and bad feelings. One person hates his or her parents. Another can’t imagine life without them. One person is absorbed in their married partner. Another seems indifferent.

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The legal definition, of course, is exactly the same for everyone but family is more than just a legal relationship. Attitude is far more significant than benefaction.

You’re my child. I am legally responsible for your needs. I’ll look bad if I don’t meet them.

That captures the legal aspect of family. It doesn’t define family the way it is meant to be.

There’s a better way.

Family is any person with whom you have a connection if the well being of that person is something for which you have a genuine interest, blood relation or not, and the attitude goes both ways.

A family member is that person who you really want to see do well. You’re excited when they excel. In fact, you expect it. You never judge their failure but you don’t accept it either. They may not share DNA with you but the connection emotionally is strong enough to overcome that.

My wife, for example, doesn’t share DNA with me but there is no person who has accepted me more than she. And vice versa. I know she is interested in my well being and wants me to do well. The feeling is mutual.

I wouldn’t say our relationship is equal. There is no such thing as an absolutely, full-on equal relationship. But if she does badly or feels badly, I hurt. Again, it’s mutual and we both know it.

This is why team members will often refer to each other as family. They aren’t biologically connected but they have no problem making sacrifices so the other person and the team as a whole can do well.

Family are the people who believe in us and we in them. I’m thankful that T-day is a time to celebrate that.

Jesus Mingled With Many Ethnic Groups

November 15, 2017 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Jesus Focused
On What We Have
In Common

Ethnicity is a fact of life. Everyone is ethnic. You, me, everyone. No one can escape this truth.

Of course, if you’re like me, you’re wondering, “What the heck is ethnic?” Or rather, “What do people mean when they use the word?”

And when you look around, you discover it’s not so easy to define and often more difficult to apply.

The word is frequently invoked these days but that doesn’t mean it is clearly understood.

Mystery reigns.

You hear it often because it is the new political catchword for both liberal and conservative policymakers.

Even worse is the fact that the word often connotes one of two negative vibes: condescension or smugness.

General discussions or even a passing reference to any ethnic group comes across as condescending:

Those poor people. How strange!

And if you happen to be a member of said group and you find no way to stop the conversational finger-pointing, you eventually develop a smug, defensive attitude, which becomes the impetus for political action or in extreme cases, revolution.

The last two US Presidents illustrate the point. Obama was perceived as ethnically generous. Trump not so much. Obama spoke respectfully of those who didn’t fit in with mainstream America. Trump wants to build a wall. But both, regardless the predisposition, spoke/speak downward.

And it must be remembered that the President, whatever his bias, presides in the highest office in a country whose message to every immigrant is:

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free!

Those masses come from every possible direction. They have many things in common. Ethnic identity isn’t one of them.

Like it or not, the US populace is a living, breathing, ever-changing example of ethnic blending. The American Way is a hybrid and stays in a constant state of flux.

More importantly, the laws of the land, at least in the US, don’t define individual tastes. They don’t create ethnic boundaries or allow ethnic shaming but they do regulate how citizens respond when preferences conflict.

That is the important truth to remember. The US version of democracy doesn’t feature one ethnic background at the expense of all others. The ground rules are established for all. In theory, anyone breaking those rules regardless their ethnic background is judged and penalized accordingly, meaning fairly.

I’m sure some will blanch at the idea, but the US has slowly formed into an equal ethnic opportunity. All must work. All must pay their own bills and make a reasonable contribution. None are allowed illegal entrance but ethnicity is safe as long as it doesn’t abuse the law or the rights of others.

But back to the word itself. [Read more…] about Jesus Mingled With Many Ethnic Groups