NowTHINK!AboutIt

Book Review: The D-Word: Divorce Through A Child’s Eyes

March 30, 2013 by EnnisP 1 Comment

The Seed of Every Catastrophe
Is Opportunity

Divorce is often thought of as an “out there” kind of experience. Not only does it shatter the image of the so called “normal” home, it is obvious to everyone. There is no hiding or covering up. What isn’t seen or readily understood, even by those going through this experience – or witnessing it closely – is the underlying turmoil for every person involved, interested onlookers included.

Every person responds emotionally to divorce whether their connection is immediate or distant. The point made in this fictional narrative is that what counts most is how those emotions are managed. Divorce doesn’t need to be a wrecking ball.

In The D-Word: Divorce Through a Child’s Eyes, the author, Tara Eisenhard, does a great job of exposing the underside of an ugly divorce. She takes us on a one year divorce journey through the eyes, or maybe I should say heart, of a preteen girl, Gina. Although Gina is the main character she isn’t alone. The author manages to illustrate a complex range of emotions stemming from a badly managed divorce and everyone makes a contribution: The divorcing couple, female siblings, male siblings, younger and older siblings, friends of siblings who’ve experienced divorce and those who haven’t, friends of the divorcing couple, aunts, uncles, grandparents on both sides and even step relatives.

It is through Gina that readers will be sad, happy, angry and eventually relieved but all the other characters help fill out the picture.

It’s all there. Parents becoming emotionally dependent on children. Grandparents who wish well but whose input only hurts. Friends who encourage rather than alleviate the friction. Children absorbing the blame and the responsibility.

Though the characters and the story line are fictional, their experiences are true to everyday life. Everyone can identify with one or more characters. [Read more…] about Book Review: The D-Word: Divorce Through A Child’s Eyes

What Makes The Gospel Good News?

March 7, 2013 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

We Must Articulate The Gospel
Not Throw It At People

At the heart of Christian belief is the Gospel. It’s a major concept in the New Testament. I wouldn’t say it dominates but it is definitely pervasive. You find it everywhere you look.

The word is used 98 times in the New Testament and is found in nineteen books. It is mentioned toward the beginning and the ending of several of these books:

The first three books: Matthew, Mark and Luke

It seems strange that the word “Gospel” isn’t found in John even once, until you realize that John focuses on “belief” which is the personal response that catalyzes the application of the Gospel to an individual’s heart. John’s focus, therefore, compliments the focus on the Gospel in Matthew, Mark and Luke.

Other books where “Gospel” is mentioned toward the beginning and ending are:

Romans
1 & 2 Corinthians
Galatians
Philippians

Mark gives the word first importance. It literally opens and closes the book. It is mentioned in the first verse of the first chapter and almost the last verse of the last chapter. That is also true for Romans.

In three books: Romans, Galatians and Philippians, the word is used at least five times in the first chapter alone – six times in Philippians 1.

The Gospel was obviously important to the New Testament writers and most people recognize that. Unfortunately it isn’t always made very clear today.

The Gospel Needs Specific Definition

It is common that when people talk about Jesus they often mention the Gospel but rarely do much to explain it and it really needs to be explained. “Gospel” is only one word and it has a very simple, unspecific, generalized meaning: “good news.” That’s it. Without more detail you’re still in a mist. All kinds of news can be referred to as “good” so we need to specify what the news is. [Read more…] about What Makes The Gospel Good News?

Spiritual and Secular Cannot Be Separated

February 27, 2013 by EnnisP 5 Comments

Want To Be More Spiritual?
Be Temporal More Deliberately!

The two natures of a human being, “spiritual” and “secular,” are like two sides of a coin. Remove one side and the coin no longer exists. It’s actually impossible to remove a side from a coin but even if you deface a side it is still a side.

Just like the two sides of a coin, spiritual and secular cannot be separated.

To be clear on the meanings, “secular” is usually thought of as “worldly” or the opposite of religious and connotes something negative especially when characterizing people. It’s the wayward that are worldly. It’s a “four letter word” in religious terms but that meaning doesn’t represent the word accurately.

According to Merriam-Webster “Secular” also means “temporal” as opposed to eternal, which is the way the word was understood a few hundred years back when it was first used. That, of course, means that “secular” is different to “spiritual” but not in a bad way. The two are not disconnected.

Secular speaks of normal human pursuits in this temporal life, some of which effect eternal matters in the next.

The negative connotation, and the emphasis placed on it by Christians, has the undesirable effect of pushing the non-religious even further away from spiritual issues. It grates to be referred to as “worldly,” in the pagan sense of the word, just because they don’t attend church or quote verses from the Bible, especially if they happen to be upstanding people, in some cases more so than those in church.

[do_widget id=media_image-4]

All of that speaks to the secular side of the coin. Now for the spiritual side.

“Spirit” refers to the non-physical side of a person and since you can’t see a spirit or touch one physically many people think of it as imperceptible. They describe it mystically and manage it in an other-worldly way.

But here’s the truth. Spirit IS intangible but it ISN’T incomprehensible. Yes, it is evidenced by abstract thought which isn’t easy to explain but it can be explained. Abstract thought is:

The ability to conceive of and analyze ideas that have no spatial representation.

“Value” is an abstract concept. “Marriage” for example – a value in many cultures – is abstract but a wedding or a home or a family is not.

You could say that “spirit” refers to abstract ideas which have concrete expressions in “secular” activities. Like two parts of an epoxy mix, they catalyze, so taking an abstract idea and analyzing it away from concrete expressions – such as enlightenment without studying – is the equivalent of blowing a logical fuse.

All of that is to say that these two concepts are tied together. Putting too much weight on one will proportionately reduce weight in other, an imbalance. Get one out of balance either way and the other will be proportionately out of balance in the other direction. No person is mostly spiritual or mostly secular. They are naturally both, so attempting to neglect one to enlarge the other is most unnatural.

Every person should be as reliable and capable in secular pursuits as they are in spiritual and Christians should model this best. [Read more…] about Spiritual and Secular Cannot Be Separated

Winsome View Animal Farm and Bistro

February 15, 2013 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Beautiful Setting, Friendly Animals
Tasty Food and Fair Prices

The Winsome View Animal farm, situated on an equine boarding ranch in the Summerveld hills (near Hillcrest), is surrounded by beautiful scenery and is home to loads of up-close-and-friendly animals of all kinds. Some roaming: rabbits, chickens, geese, goats and more, and some in pins: ponies, donkeys and pigs. There is also playground equipment and an obstacle course.

Entering through a hundred meter, well manicured tree lined drive, adjacent to horse paddocks, you realize you’re on a real farm. Nothing artificial. Walking through the animal farm gate you’re greeted by curious animals and friendly staff with a few barking dogs in the background. There was also a small nursery to round out the country feel.

Though the farm is tailor-made for kids, a well managed bistro – a real plus – offers great fare for adults. The dishes are garnished and seasoned with produce from an on site organic garden managed by Chef Alex. If you’ve never had salad made from freshly harvested produce you won’t believe the difference. The flavor was amazing. And the cappuccino was really good too. We had two cups.

Although the bistro is outdoor-only it is well protected from roaming animals by fence and from the sun by umbrellas. It is also being expanded as I write. A new section, enclosed and covered, is under construction. They recently introduced Friday nite Fine Dining. I haven’t been to the Friday night meal but having met the Chef and eaten the food, I’m sure it is good.

It’s a great place to satisfy both the children and the adults in the family so make your plans to visit. The prices are very fair.

Entrance: R12 (going to R15 soon)
Pony rides: R6
Animal feed: R6

Open from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM Tuesday through Sunday and public holidays, they cater for birthday parties, school groups and holiday camps, maximum 50. Contact Cheryl for bookings and details on (082) 892-1615 or (076) 870-0356. To contact by email: info@winsomeview.co.za.

Following are: GPS coordinates, directions and a map. [Read more…] about Winsome View Animal Farm and Bistro

Book Review: Naked Divorce For Women

February 7, 2013 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Life After Divorce
Is Possible

Naked Divorce for Women (UK link here) won’t help you avoid a divorce or provide legal advice for getting one but it will help you get over one. In a word this book is about recovery.

The title is telling. Divorce is stressful not only because it is hurtful, inconvenient and demoralizing, but also because it leaves one feeling exposed and exposure is the particular sensation that Adele illustrates well throughout her book. She bravely bares all in an attempt to help others navigate the climb from the chaos of divorce to the order of recovery. Her writing isn’t coldly clinical. It is personal.

But don’t get the wrong idea. This book, though it targets the pain, doesn’t encourage anyone to live in it. Instead, Adele highlights individual responsibility before and after the divorce: responsibility, that is, for the failed marriage and the recovered life. Self-pity, bitterness and revenge are understood but not encouraged or entertained.

Though Adele writes from a woman’s perspective and for women going through divorce, the principles she lays out are drawn from her background in change management and are good for managing any kind of transition. They can apply to both genders too.

She writes broadly covering many related issues: hormones, friends, family, work relations and more but at the core of the book is a 21 day program for recovery which emphasizes diet, physical exercise and the importance of maintaining a balanced routine, among other things. But don’t worry. She doesn’t take an extreme approach to dietary regulations. You only need “limit” coffee and chocolate, not eliminate them.

Get a FREE Kindle Reading App for any device (PC, Mac, Smartphones, Tablets) at Amazon.com

Adele’s program brings immediate relief but it isn’t a quick-fix or a laid-back approach. The 21 day program involves a commitment of 90 to 120 minutes each day during the week and a bit more time on the weekend. The program is described as a cocooning process that enables transformation from a troubled, out of control state to a more settled and focused you.

21 days may seem like a long time but as Adele points out, compared to the scope of an entire life, 21 days is only a small part. [Read more…] about Book Review: Naked Divorce For Women